Christmas Carols...

[dustinprewitt]

santa claus is a fat bitch

Santa Claus suck my balls
Drunk as hell rinking bells at the malls
Dancer, Prancer, Dixon, and Qupid
I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh
I sat around all night under the chimney
Holdin my sack like "gimme gimme"
I know that he's commin, he's commin he must
Lookin up nuthin but rust, dust.
Turn on my tv the very next day I see your gettin payed
leadin the parade I'm that sniper on the buildin
Listen to my nine go click, Santas a fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch)
Another year and I aint get shit
(Another year I aint get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Ohh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

Yeah I got somthin to say about St. Nick
Fuck that hoe he never brought jack shit
No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal,
So I eat it, cuz there ain't nuttin in the cubbards
So I'll be quick, quick and brief
Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth
I got my teeth, kicked out my mouth
I need a few new ones could you help me out
Should of known I guessed I'd show not a steak
No kinda gift I didn't get shit
Some say I was bad but that wasn't it
It's all because, Santas a fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa fuck you cuz your a hoe)
Another year and I ain't got shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

"Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Roudolf thats the ghettoo.
Ho-ho, those boys and girls don't deserve anything."
[Background:] Slaybells ringling jing jing jingle-ling
horses, horses, horses, horses

Santa Claus, Santa Claus where you been?
I see you got cookies and milk on your chin
I guess you had time to collect your ends
You always been down for your rich friend
But Roudolf, he don't bring his sleigh my way
Nuthin but dirt and coal for little J
I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft
You need to loose some of that fat ass, eh
All the little rich boys they gettin payed
Countin the toys and duckets they made
Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit
I'm a kill that fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(He ate too much McDonals)
Another year and I aint get shit
(Mrs. Claus is a ho)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Slice that bitch in the big red coat)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

For the neighborhood Christmas and everythings whack
Not a creature sturrin but a fuckin rat
I aint hearin jingle bells I aint hearin nuttin
Aint smellin no turky sure as hell aint no stuffin
All that I payed, wished and prayed
That fat mutha fucka would swing my way
Drop off soldiers and rubber ballz
But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers
Just as I knew it shaft again, and again, and again, and again
Every year I wake up to the same old shit....house
There be no sign of the fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat bitch)
Another year and I aint get shit
(Another year I aint get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(If I hear him land on my roof)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth


Merry Christmas (I dont want to fight tonight)
Merry christmas, I don’t want to fight tonight with...

Merry christmas, I don’t want to fight tonight
Merry christmas, I don’t want to fight tonight
Merry christmas, I don’t want to fight tonight with you

Where is santa at his sleigh? tell me why is it always this way?
Where is rudolph? where is blitzen, baby? merry christmas, merry merry merry christmas

All the children are tucked in their beds sugar-plum fairies dancing in their heads
Snowball fighting, it’s so exciting baby

I love you and you love me and that’s the way it’s got to be
I loved you from the start ’cause christmas ain’t the time for breaking each other’s heart

Red Water (christmas mourn)
Wake up, it's Christmas mourn
Those loved have long since gone
The stockings are hung but who cares
preserved for those no longer there
six feet beneath me sleep
Black lights hang from the tree
accents of dead holly
Whoa mistletoe
(It's growing cold)
I'm seeing ghosts
(I'm drinking old)
Red water
Red water
Red water chase them away
My tables been set for but seven
just last year i dined with eleven
goddamn ye merry gentlemen
Whoa mistletoe
(It's growing cold)
I'm seeing ghosts
(I'm drinking old)
Red water
Red water
Red water chase them away.

stuff the turkey
HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED
WHY SANTA'S CHEEKS ARE RUBY RED?
HE'S NOT JOLLY
HE'S OFF HIS HEAD.
PULL A CRACKER
PULL UP A CHAIR
HAVE SOME OF THIS
IT WILL REMOVE YOUR HAIR.

STUFF THE TURKEY
IT'S NO TIME TO FAST
ENJOY THIS CHRISTMAS
IT MIGHT BE YOUR LAST.

LET'S MAKE THIS CHRISTMAS
ONE TO REMEMBER
LET'S STAY DRUNK
FROM JANUARY TILL DECEMBER.
I'LL STUFF YOUR STOCKINGS
WITH PASSION FRUIT
LOOSEN YOUR TIE
GET OUTTA THAT SUIT.

STUFF THE TURKEY
IT'S NO TIME TO FAST
ENJOY THIS CHRISTMAS
IT MIGHT BE YOUR LAST.

IT ONLY COMES
BUT ONCE A YEAR
STOP DRINKING COFFEE
AND HAVE A BEER.
PULL A CRACKER
PULL UP A CHAIR
NO TIME TO BE SOBER
JUST ONE LONG BENDER!

STUFF THE TURKEY
STUFF THE TURKEY
IT'S NO TIME TO FAST
ENJOY THIS CHRISTMAS
IT MIGHT BE YOUR LAST.

STUFF THE TURKEY
STUFF THE TURKEY
STUFF THE TURKEY
STUFF THE TURKEY
STUFF THE TURKEY
STUFF THE TURKEY


The Christmas Song
London After Midnight The Christmas Song lyrics
In this world of snow and cold I'll hide
in this world of ice I've built with pride
of all things that I'd most like to receive
there's just one thing I really want this Christmas Eve
I believe, I believe it's you

I know youre out there waiting in the cold
all shimmering and blue and warm to hold
but if I try and really do believe
I'll get just what I'm waiting for this Christmas Eve
I believe, I believe it's you

Nothing can compare
nothing can come close to you
nothing can compare
nothing else will ever do

buried in the snow I'll wait for you
and keep on wishing 'till my dreams come true
I feel your touch, it melts the world away
and we'll be together in the light of Christmas Day
far away, far away with you.

Christmas In Hollis
It was December 24th on Hollis Ave in the dark
When I see a man chilling with his dog in the park
I approached very slowly with my heart full of fear
Looked at his dog oh my God an ill reindeer
But then I was illin because the man had a beard
And a bag full of goodies 12 o'clock had neared
So I turned my head a second and the man had gone
But he left his driver's wallet smack dead on the lawn
I picket the wallet up then I took a pause
Took out the license and it cold said "Santa Claus"
A million dollars in it, cold hundreds of G's
Enough to buy a boat and matching car with ease
But I'd never steal from Santa, cause that ain't right
So I'm going home to mail it back to him that night
But when I got home I bugged, cause under the tree
Was a letter from Santa and all the dough was for me

It's Christmas time in Hollis Queens
Mom's cooking chicken and collard greens
Rice and stuffing, macaroni and cheese
And Santa put gifts under Christmas trees
Decorate the house with lights at night
Snow's on the ground, snow white so bright
In the fireplace is the yule log
Beneath the mistle toe as we drink egg nog
The rhymes you hear are the rhymes of Darryl's
But each and every year we bust Chrsitmas carrols
(Christmas melodies)

Rhymes so loud and prod you hear it
It's Christmas time and we got the spirit
Jack Frost chillin, the ?orchas out?
And that's what Christmas is all about
The time is now, the place is here
And the whole wide world is filled with cheer

My name's D.M.C. with the mic in my hand
And I'm chilling and coolin just like a snowman
So open your eyes, lend us an ear
We want to say Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

I am santa claus
Flying through the snow
Can you hear him ho-ho-ho
He's so full of cheer
Only has to work one day a year

Children in their beds
Visions of Sugarplums fill their heads
So many kids out there
Santa must be a millionare

Red suit, boots of black
Big santa toys hanging on his back
How much does he weigh?
How do the reindeer pull his sleigh?

Nobody sees him, as he travels the world
Leaving his presants for the good boys and girls

Sees every move you make
Better be good for goodness sake
Leave him Cookies and Beer
HE'LL BE BACK TO YOUR HOUSE FIRST NEXT YEAR!


You're a Mean One, Mr. Grinch
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel.

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.



Wanna know what I got?

App. $200.00 cash, $75.00 in gift certificates, a box of nuts (and I HATE nuts), a set of glassware, a new rear brakelight for my car, a pocket flashlight, and two free tickets to a movie. Not bad... but still feels a little, well, lacking in surprise... not so much as that is what I was expecting, but it was just not surprising... although to rear light was a nice gift :)

I got cards for most of my relatives- for my cousin I bought the Primus DVD and gave him an assortment of mis-burnt CDs, for grandad I got him a photo book of Wichita 1930s on, grams I got one of those novelty singing/dancing hamsters she has been collecting, for dad I got a Sgt. Rock Arhives hardcover and a burnt copy of Johnny Cash live at Folsom/American IV, for sister a burnt copy of the best of Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, Siouxsie's Scream and Join Hands, and The Desert Sessions 9+10/Perfect Circle's 13th step, for BigBrother (I dont know how to link buddies on here, but you'll know where to find him on here on my user info thingine) I got a collection of Matrix Comics and a burnt copy of KMFDM's Opium 1984, for Laylah (see also user info buddies) I got a copy of Grant Morrison's Animal Man vol. 3 and a Disinformation Guide to the Invisibles, for TJ (see also buddy guide) I got a burnt copy of MISC recordings and a Stupid Americans book, the rest will remain secret until they have been handed out...

Cant say I really got what I really wanted for christmas, but then again, I suppose no one ever does...

Merry Christmas... hope it was profitable for you recieving both material pocessions as well as recieving the joy and surprise of loved ones recieving your gifts

Comments

[xgatheringdustx.livejournal.com]

lies :) I got exactly what I wanted for Xmas, both materially and internally. Materially I got a Gamecube & the LOTR ring, both of which I've been wanting like mad, among other things. Internally, my best friend in the whole world who's been MIA and I haven't talked to other than email for the past year and a half, called me 2 days ago. That was the best Xmas present ever. So ha!!! :) j/k thanks for the merry xmas text, i tried texting back, but you were already offline.