Mar. 17th, 2020 01:44 pm
Fear and Loathing in the Time of Corona
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dustinprewittThings started off relatively normal enough. Another mystery disease from China. Another lock down of airports and travel and etc. It's happened before, it's happening again. It became a buzzword around late feburary or so. Then Europe started having problems. Then there were cruise ships having been reported with outbreaks. Then politicians and celebrities. Then, things starting going limited. Then large events started getting canceled. Then workplaces started rescheduling and reorganizing. Then small events started getting canceled. Now, quarentine. My $900.00 trip to Boston to see Dead Can Dance will probably be canceled, and at this point that's the least of my problems. A week and a half ago, it was business as usual. Now, it seems as if the apocalypse is banging on the door.
Ive been out and about a few times. Sunday I braved the buses to go to a book store and things seemed relatively fine. I stopped by a CVS to pick up some OJ, and things seemed relatively fine. But overall, there is just a feeling of general... unease. The birds are singing, the squirrels are out and about. I see one or two people jogging and walking their dogs, a few bars still have people in them, but.... things just dont feel right. And the weather, being more akin to a cool cement sky fall than springtime hasnt been helping things. Things havnt felt this bleak since either 9/11 or 11/9, but at least you had a visible enemy, an enemy with a plan and focus, where if you couldnt reason or argue with them you could at least predict them and identify them. But this, there is no visible enemy, there is no organized goal, just impotent fear and loathing against anything and everything. Federal leadership, as incompetent as it is, cannot even be trusted in intention or competency. Im sure under normal leadership, things never would have gotten this bad. But unfortunately, we have a leadership of ignorance, pride and superstition chosen by a society of ignorance pride and superstition.
No one can give a straight answer as to how long this will last, or if this is having a postive effect. At first, it was optional. Then it became mandatory. First they say 14 days. Then they say 8 weeks. Just today, school is closing for the remainder of the school year. And all this time, they say there are infected people and people are dying, but.... I dont know anyone who is dead, and I dont know anyone who knows anyone who is dead, and I dont see corpses being dumped out the window and laying in the streets to be picked up by wheelcarts. Just a vague thing that there is something in the air that can possibly kill you and others without ever seeing it coming, and we dont know much about it, just that it's there and it's waiting for you, and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it.
Tomorrow, Ill be expermenting with working from home, which will be a first. My computer arrangement really isnt up to snuff, but circumstances have called for me to step out of my comfort zone, along with other people
I try to keep myself calm by reminding myself to keep things in perscpective. Ive always been socially isolated, its just now its becoming a necessity. Grocery stores are still well stocked with the essentials, and the more trustworty authorities say that there is no danger of a shortage. I have no kids or dependants, and relatively debt free. Sometimes I feel a bit warm, and my stomache sometimes cramps up, but those are mostly signs and symptoms of my pre-existing anxiety, which is understandbly worked up given the circumstances. And being a relatively healthy 30-something, even if I were to come down with this sickness, it should not be fatal for a person of my demographic. And given my job being in the insurance industry, I shouldnt have to (immediately) worry about seeing my job close down for find myself out of work with no support net.
And the reason for this lock down is to protect the people who this would be fatal to, and to keep things from spiralling out of control before those who can fix these things can fix these things. But still... in all my life, nothing like this has ever happened. There is no precident for something like this in my life. And I hope nothing like this happens again. I cant help but dread over worst possible scenarios, what will happen next, when "next" actually is, if and how things can or will recover, etc. etc. Im scared, and there's little I can do about it, except put on the brave face, avoid worrying over things I have no control over, keeping calm and carrying on, ride it out and try to enjoy the ride, and look at it as an adventure for the history books I can tell future generations that I lived through and experienced.
Ive been out and about a few times. Sunday I braved the buses to go to a book store and things seemed relatively fine. I stopped by a CVS to pick up some OJ, and things seemed relatively fine. But overall, there is just a feeling of general... unease. The birds are singing, the squirrels are out and about. I see one or two people jogging and walking their dogs, a few bars still have people in them, but.... things just dont feel right. And the weather, being more akin to a cool cement sky fall than springtime hasnt been helping things. Things havnt felt this bleak since either 9/11 or 11/9, but at least you had a visible enemy, an enemy with a plan and focus, where if you couldnt reason or argue with them you could at least predict them and identify them. But this, there is no visible enemy, there is no organized goal, just impotent fear and loathing against anything and everything. Federal leadership, as incompetent as it is, cannot even be trusted in intention or competency. Im sure under normal leadership, things never would have gotten this bad. But unfortunately, we have a leadership of ignorance, pride and superstition chosen by a society of ignorance pride and superstition.
No one can give a straight answer as to how long this will last, or if this is having a postive effect. At first, it was optional. Then it became mandatory. First they say 14 days. Then they say 8 weeks. Just today, school is closing for the remainder of the school year. And all this time, they say there are infected people and people are dying, but.... I dont know anyone who is dead, and I dont know anyone who knows anyone who is dead, and I dont see corpses being dumped out the window and laying in the streets to be picked up by wheelcarts. Just a vague thing that there is something in the air that can possibly kill you and others without ever seeing it coming, and we dont know much about it, just that it's there and it's waiting for you, and there's nothing you or anyone can do about it.
Tomorrow, Ill be expermenting with working from home, which will be a first. My computer arrangement really isnt up to snuff, but circumstances have called for me to step out of my comfort zone, along with other people
I try to keep myself calm by reminding myself to keep things in perscpective. Ive always been socially isolated, its just now its becoming a necessity. Grocery stores are still well stocked with the essentials, and the more trustworty authorities say that there is no danger of a shortage. I have no kids or dependants, and relatively debt free. Sometimes I feel a bit warm, and my stomache sometimes cramps up, but those are mostly signs and symptoms of my pre-existing anxiety, which is understandbly worked up given the circumstances. And being a relatively healthy 30-something, even if I were to come down with this sickness, it should not be fatal for a person of my demographic. And given my job being in the insurance industry, I shouldnt have to (immediately) worry about seeing my job close down for find myself out of work with no support net.
And the reason for this lock down is to protect the people who this would be fatal to, and to keep things from spiralling out of control before those who can fix these things can fix these things. But still... in all my life, nothing like this has ever happened. There is no precident for something like this in my life. And I hope nothing like this happens again. I cant help but dread over worst possible scenarios, what will happen next, when "next" actually is, if and how things can or will recover, etc. etc. Im scared, and there's little I can do about it, except put on the brave face, avoid worrying over things I have no control over, keeping calm and carrying on, ride it out and try to enjoy the ride, and look at it as an adventure for the history books I can tell future generations that I lived through and experienced.