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Nov. 26th, 2004 09:49 pm
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dustinprewittThis week: Only had to work three days, and got paid for all five (and on the fith day, I recieved time and one half holiday pay)... Good, but Im still getting tired of having to argue with stubborn spoiled children all day... this is not what I had in mind for the rest of my life...
Wedsnday...![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
lady_famine was supposed to go out and do something with me, but that dreaded pre-christmas mall shopping work took her... poor girl, she has one hell of a week/month ahead of her... wish her luck!
Thursday... went to my dad's house to watch an Abbot and Costello movie marathon on TCM with grandma, then have thanksgiving pork chops (because that's what my dad makes)... when home about 3ish, slept and read the rest of the day away... Friday... finaly recieved my Laibach DVD in store.... Bought that and Aqua Teen Hunger Force vol. 3 for Buy Nothing Day... went to my mother's side of the family for their thanksgiving dinner, watched a special on Tom Brokaw through the ages, and now I am here, waiting for Donnie Darko to start at the warren... I was looking forward to seeing it with Ash, but she ended up going to a friend's poker night... there is always tomarrow I suppose (rolls eyes)... Luke has something else going on, I can hardley ever get ahold of James, Josh doesnt go out to movies, and Rick is too damned drunk to ever take him out in public, and Val has decided to sell me out for admission change for the wichita In-Crowd....
Its a sad world when it seems as if everyone you know is just too busy for you./... sometimes I feel like a senior citizen, an old man whose family had dumped him off at the nearest old folks home, to live out the rest of the life forgotten, while they're off doing other things more important...
In my younger days, Ive always felt frustrated, being held back by my mother while everyone was out having a life... then I had one for 3 some odd years, now either Im so far ahead of everyone, or that my late start was too late, and I can never catch up...
And of course, any responce with invitations or promises of friendships are just going to make me feel worse, like Im just being manipulitive or just pity-groping, being too soft and weak and needy and clingy... I hate emotion...
I cant say that I hate love, its being in love that I hate... and Im just getting older and older.... I hate being the one who does all the trying, I hate loving and not being loved in return, being hated in return, or worse, being ignored in return...
Sometimes, I think I should retire to being an Invisible Man... I can count so many times that I go out, and people act as if Im not even there... I say hello to someone, and they walk by as if Im not even there, I talk to someone, and they wander off in mid-conversation, Im sitting at a table alone, and people just plop their party at the same table, as if I wasnt even there, with their backs turned to me, etc...
When/if I ever have children, and they lay that old "Wernt you ever young?" speach on me, I know what Ill tell them...
I'll say "no."
Wedsnday...
lady_famine was supposed to go out and do something with me, but that dreaded pre-christmas mall shopping work took her... poor girl, she has one hell of a week/month ahead of her... wish her luck!Thursday... went to my dad's house to watch an Abbot and Costello movie marathon on TCM with grandma, then have thanksgiving pork chops (because that's what my dad makes)... when home about 3ish, slept and read the rest of the day away... Friday... finaly recieved my Laibach DVD in store.... Bought that and Aqua Teen Hunger Force vol. 3 for Buy Nothing Day... went to my mother's side of the family for their thanksgiving dinner, watched a special on Tom Brokaw through the ages, and now I am here, waiting for Donnie Darko to start at the warren... I was looking forward to seeing it with Ash, but she ended up going to a friend's poker night... there is always tomarrow I suppose (rolls eyes)... Luke has something else going on, I can hardley ever get ahold of James, Josh doesnt go out to movies, and Rick is too damned drunk to ever take him out in public, and Val has decided to sell me out for admission change for the wichita In-Crowd....
Its a sad world when it seems as if everyone you know is just too busy for you./... sometimes I feel like a senior citizen, an old man whose family had dumped him off at the nearest old folks home, to live out the rest of the life forgotten, while they're off doing other things more important...
In my younger days, Ive always felt frustrated, being held back by my mother while everyone was out having a life... then I had one for 3 some odd years, now either Im so far ahead of everyone, or that my late start was too late, and I can never catch up...
And of course, any responce with invitations or promises of friendships are just going to make me feel worse, like Im just being manipulitive or just pity-groping, being too soft and weak and needy and clingy... I hate emotion...
I cant say that I hate love, its being in love that I hate... and Im just getting older and older.... I hate being the one who does all the trying, I hate loving and not being loved in return, being hated in return, or worse, being ignored in return...
Sometimes, I think I should retire to being an Invisible Man... I can count so many times that I go out, and people act as if Im not even there... I say hello to someone, and they walk by as if Im not even there, I talk to someone, and they wander off in mid-conversation, Im sitting at a table alone, and people just plop their party at the same table, as if I wasnt even there, with their backs turned to me, etc...
When/if I ever have children, and they lay that old "Wernt you ever young?" speach on me, I know what Ill tell them...
I'll say "no."
5 Days...
Re: 5 Days...