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Feb. 23rd, 2004 10:36 pm
I dont need to tell you about my life...
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dustinprewittBecause there are pleanty of people out there to do that for me. Even though none of them ever actualy talk to me. Even though half of them I never even see. Even though a quarter of them I hardly tolerate.
Got screwed over again by mother. 1st she says that Im free to decorate and paint the house as I choose. So I start buying some paints (out of my own pocket I might add.) I had a nice vision of solid reds with black trim, velvetish violets and dark evergreens. As soon as I get there with the paint, what do I see, but someone else with half a room done in a tanish color... This was disappointing to say the least... not only did she go behind my back, but also tan is NOT going to go well with the colors I had chosen, so there goes the whole theme I was planning. Then she has the nerve to ask me to go with her to Wal-Mart to pick out more paints. Here's how it goes. 'How do you like this colour?' 'No, I dont think it will go well with what I have planned' 'Yeah, but what do you think about the colour?' 'I said I didnt like it' Ok, well Ill just get the colour and we'll see how it works' 'I told you I dont like it' 'Oh dont be silly it'll look fine.' I really cannot say that Im shocked. Im not so much disappointed that she did this- she's been doing things like that my whole life. But I was really looking forward to having a house as a blank canvas to decorate, to make a dwelling that was truly reflective of myself. A true home. Now it feels like an extended prison, just like living with her again... the most horrible years of my life.
Just keep telling myself that it will look nicer once I move in and get situated...
As for the other disappointment... I dont need to tell you about that. Since, as I said, there are pleanty of other people out there to tell you for me. But who cares if the version is accurate or not? Its not the facts you're interested in, its the gossip. Its the entertainment you are after.
My life is a spectator sport. You are all just spectators, not participants. At best, you are a resource.
"And the day will come... when you will enter the cyberspace and you will never, never want to get out, because reality is SHIT, and cyberspace is GOD."
I am not happy. I am very angry.
Got screwed over again by mother. 1st she says that Im free to decorate and paint the house as I choose. So I start buying some paints (out of my own pocket I might add.) I had a nice vision of solid reds with black trim, velvetish violets and dark evergreens. As soon as I get there with the paint, what do I see, but someone else with half a room done in a tanish color... This was disappointing to say the least... not only did she go behind my back, but also tan is NOT going to go well with the colors I had chosen, so there goes the whole theme I was planning. Then she has the nerve to ask me to go with her to Wal-Mart to pick out more paints. Here's how it goes. 'How do you like this colour?' 'No, I dont think it will go well with what I have planned' 'Yeah, but what do you think about the colour?' 'I said I didnt like it' Ok, well Ill just get the colour and we'll see how it works' 'I told you I dont like it' 'Oh dont be silly it'll look fine.' I really cannot say that Im shocked. Im not so much disappointed that she did this- she's been doing things like that my whole life. But I was really looking forward to having a house as a blank canvas to decorate, to make a dwelling that was truly reflective of myself. A true home. Now it feels like an extended prison, just like living with her again... the most horrible years of my life.
Just keep telling myself that it will look nicer once I move in and get situated...
As for the other disappointment... I dont need to tell you about that. Since, as I said, there are pleanty of other people out there to tell you for me. But who cares if the version is accurate or not? Its not the facts you're interested in, its the gossip. Its the entertainment you are after.
My life is a spectator sport. You are all just spectators, not participants. At best, you are a resource.
"And the day will come... when you will enter the cyberspace and you will never, never want to get out, because reality is SHIT, and cyberspace is GOD."
I am not happy. I am very angry.
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i'm ready. i think today is just a bad day...
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but then again, is there a month that is?
sigh
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I hope March is a better month for you, sweetie, I really do. There's my eternal optimism. It probably makes you sick. LOL But I pass a smile to you anyway!